Behind Closed Doors
by Lolapola
Summary: ON HIATUS A year after Mimi's recovery, things are going well until Roger starts using again. The Bohemians have to suffer the consequences. Includes Mark, Collins, Mimi and Roger.
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first fanfic, so please be nice :) It's set about a year after the end of RENT. Enjoy!

Warnings: T for swearing and some violence. No slash. No beta, so any and all mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except the plotline *sigh*

Behind Closed Doors

Prologue 

It was a normal day when Mark got the call that changed everything. '_Speeeeaaak!__' _ At first all he could hear was sobbing, and he ran to the phone.

'Hello? Who is this?' He knew in his heart – something had been wrong for a while. 'Mimi? Is that you?'

'Mark…' More crying.

'Mimi? What's the matter? What's happened?'

Mark said desperately.

He tried to think of something that would make her cry like this, and a thought that had been at the back of his mind since the phone had rang rushed forwards and turned his insides to ice.

_No,_he thought, _It__can__'__t__be__that__…_

'Mimi, please…Is it Roger? Has he…Is he ill?'

'No, no, not that –' Mark relaxed slightly, but the fear was still there – 'He's not ill, but…' She started to cry again.

'Mimi, where are you? I'll meet you –'

'Roger's back on drugs.'

Mark's stomach lurched and his throat closed up. He couldn't talk, he couldn't think, he couldn't –

The phone dropped out of his hands, but he didn't notice. A wave of nausea rode through him and he sank to the floor, his head in his hands.

A loud rattling told him that someone was entering the loft, but he couldn't bring himself to react. After everything they'd been through, all those months of withdrawal.

Roger had fought so hard against his addiction – they all had. They had all suffered, and he had thrown it away.

'Hello? Anybody home?' Collins's voice rang out through the loft. Mark didn't move. He couldn't.

'Well ain't that typical.' Collins sighed dramatically to himself. 'I go to all the trouble of buying food for him, and the little motherfucker goes and disap-

Mark heard Collins suck in a breath as he rounded the couch and caught sight of Mark slumped on the floor. 'Shit! Mark? Mark!' Warm hands pulled the filmmaker up and twisted him round. He found himself staring into Collins's kind eyes. He saw the fear in them, and felt a pang of guilt that brought him out of his shocked state. Collins had been through enough, what with losing Angel, and he didn't need this.

Collins visibly relaxed when he saw that Mark was conscious and not obviously hurt. 'Shit, Mark,' he sighed, 'I thought-' He stopped himself. 'Are you alright? What happened?'

Mark forced himself to answer. 'Roger's using again'

If you guys like it, I'll put chapter one up soon.

Review and constructive criticism much appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews and story favourites/alerts on the prologue everyone, they made me happy :)

Ok, here's chapter one, hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own a thing.

Chapter One

Mimi sat on the couch opposite Collins and Mark, clutching a mug of coffee. She had stopped crying, but she seemed to be in shock.

Mark had been shocked too, but he had calmed himself down to concentrate on Mimi. Helping her was better than thinking about how Roger could've betrayed them like this.

Collins was simply angry. As angry as Mark had ever seen him. It was a deep, simmering anger – it would've been less scary if he'd shouted.

He was hiding it now, for Mimi's sake, but Mark knew Collins. He could see the anger in the clenched fists, the tensed shoulders, the dark flashing of his normally warm brown eyes. When he was angry, they turned black, like obsidian, and he turned from a beaming, friendly giant to the most terrifying man Mark had ever met.

The only other time Mark had seen Collins get this angry was a time when Roger was going through withdrawal, and Collins had come home to find Roger beating the shit out of Mark so he could get out for his hit.

Collins had yanked Roger off the filmmaker and damn near threw him across the room, and Mark would never forget the livid expression on the anarchist's face. It reminded him never to get on Collins's bad side.

"Mimi," Collins spoke gently into the silence, jolting Mark back to the present. "Do you want to talk about what happened? Then maybe we can help."

There was silence for a moment as Mimi stared morosely into her coffee. Then – "I got back early from a shift at the Life. When I went into the apartment, I was about to call out to him, but something – something stopped me. Something felt…wrong. I went into our room…."

She trailed off as her big eyes – Bambi eyes, Roger called them – filled with tears. A jolt of anger shot through Mark, surprising him. Until now he had only felt shock, sadness, disappointment. But now he realised that a part of him _was_ angry. Why did Roger have to spoil everything?

Their lives had been going so well in the year since Mimi's incredible Christmas Eve recovery. Roger had moved in with Mimi, and she had finally gotten through withdrawal and stopped smack. She'd been clean for months now, and had quit her job at the club in favour of a waitressing job at the Life Café.

Collins had got a job at NYU, so he was living in the loft with Mark, and he finally seemed to be recovering from Angel's death.

Maureen and Joanne had got engaged – again – and this time had got through it without breaking up. The ATM machine still hadn't been fixed, so they all had as much money as they needed.

Everyone was healthy. Everyone was perfect. Until now. Now there was another obstacle for their family to overcome.

"I kinda guessed something was up." Mimi started again. "He'd been acting strange – sorta secretive."

Mark nodded; he'd noticed it too. "I was close to just coming out and asking him what was going on. I never thought he'd be…. I never thought…" She stopped, composed herself.

"When I walked in, he looked guilty and sad for like a second, then he just looked…defensive. Like he wasn't doing anything wrong. He didn't even try to explain or apologise, like – like _my _Roger would. He just started screaming at me. He was unrecognisable. It was horrible." She shuddered at the memory.

Mark was nodding again. The junkie Roger on smack and their Roger were two completely different people.

"What happened then?" coaxed Collins. He was starting to sound like Paul, the leader of Life Support.

"I ran. I ran to the park, and that was when I called Mark. I don't know where Roger is. He's not in the apartment."

Silent tears were now streaming down her face, but she didn't appear to notice. Mark and Collins looked at each other, and then Collins seemed to come to a decision.

"Okay, Mimi. You don't have to talk about it anymore now. You'll stay with us while we sort this out. You can sleep in my room. I would go now," he added, "you've had a hard day. Go get some sleep."

Mimi nodded listlessly and trailed into Collins's room, still clutching her mug. Collins turned to Mark when she had shut the door, and the filmmaker started. The kind, gentle expression was gone, and a cold, hard mask was in its place. "And we," Collins said, "are going to find Roger."

Please review and constructively criticise! Thank you! And Merry Christmas!

xxx


	3. Chapter 3

…Hi-hi *tentative wave* okay, I'm SO sorry this has taken so long, I have no idea where the months have gone! I hate it when I'm reading a fic, and it just cuts off half way through, and the author doesn't update for ages, so I can't apologise enough! I promise the next chapter will be very soon thanks for all the reviews/story alerts/story favourites, they mean so much to me! Love you all, hope you like this chapter xxx

Disclaimer: Don't own, this is a fanfiction site geniuses.

Chapter Two

It was a good hour before they found Roger. He was huddled in an alleyway near the loft, and Mark and Collins missed him the first few times they went past because he blended in with the garbage.

'There he is,' said Mark, pointing. Roger raised his head as they approached, and as soon as he recognised them, a cheerful but very fake smile was on his face. 'Hey guys!' he cried, too brightly. He seemed to be attempting normality, as though Collins and Mark finding him lying on the street was a normal occurrence.

Collins, however, was clearly unimpressed by the façade and kicked Roger lightly in the shin. 'Get up,' he growled. Mark was surprised by his tone for a minute, then remembered Mimi, sobbing in their apartment, and he understood Collins perfectly.

It hurt Mark though, to see him like this. It brought back painful memories, memories of shouting and violence and waiting for hours and hours for Roger to come home.

Waiting, thought Mark would never admit it, for that phone call to say that Roger had overdosed, or got in to a particularly bad fight, or hadn't seen a car as he'd stumbled across the street in a drug-induced haze….Mark shut out these memories quickly. He did his best not to think of those days, ever.

Roger's forced smile faded as he realised Mark and Collins weren't buying it, and an angry scowl took its place. Mark winced. He hadn't seen Roger look so…..so un-Roger for almost two years.

Junkie Roger pulled himself to his feet and stood, glaring at them and swaying slightly.

"What's she been saying?" he shouted aggressively. "Because it's all lies, all of it – I haven't done anything!"

"Really." replied Collins flatly. Roger's eyes narrowed.

"Fine! Believe what you want! I don't need you!" He tried to run, stumbling past them, but before Mark could blink Collins had Roger bundled up against the wall and was an inch away from the younger man's face.

"I don't think so, boy," he snarled. Roger struggled uselessly, but Collins was far stronger. "Here's what's going to happen. We're going back to the loft, and then you're staying in your room until whatever shit you've taken has worn off. Then you're gonna apologise to Mimi, and we're gonna talk about what possessed you to fuck up your life, _yet again_." The last bit was little more than a hiss of anger. "'Kay, pumpkin?" Roger glowered at the floor but said nothing. "Right then."

Collins glanced over at Mark and his expression softened briefly. "You okay, Mark?" Mark realised he hadn't moved since they had found Roger, and he forced himself to nod jerkily. Collins didn't look convinced, but Roger was beginning to struggle again.

Collins pulled the musician's arms behind his back and half dragged him out of the alley. "C'mon," he pulled a face at Mark over his shoulder. "Let's get this stupid ass home."

Mark walked into the main room of the loft the next morning to find Collins making breakfast. The shock of Roger using again still hadn't worn off. _After all we've been through together, _he kept thinking. _April died for their addiction. After that, and after Angel… _

Collins seemed to sense his troubled thoughts, and glanced up to smile at Mark consolingly. "I'm guessing he's not awake yet?" asked Mark.

"Guessed right. And neither's Mimi, so keep your voice down."

There was a long pause as Mark ran his hand through his tousled blond hair and slumped down at the counter. Collins watched him carefully. "You okay?" he asked quietly after a moment.

Mark hesitated. "I guess, I just…" He trailed off and stared blankly at the countertop. "I just thought we were past all this, y'know?" he finally sighed. "I mean, why would he do this to us? To me? To Mimi?"

"That's what we're gonna find out when he finally shows his face."

Mark sighed again. When they'd got back to the loft the previous evening. Mimi had still been asleep in Collins's room, so they had thrown Roger into his old room, locked the door, and gone to bed, trying to block out Roger's yells of anger. Collins had unlocked it that morning, but so far the musician had not made an appearance.

"No Mimi yet?" asked Mark. Collins shook his head. "We'll have to talk to her. God knows what this is doing to her." Collins didn't reply for a moment.

"She'll cope," he said at last. "She's stronger than we give her credit for. I think she'll be okay."

"I'll be fine," came a voice from behind them. They turned to find Mimi standing there, looking tired but steady, watching them to talk.

"You guys worry too much," she continued with her usual teasing smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"It's Roger you need to be looking after, not me. I was just shocked yesterday. I'm over it now. I'm ready to help Roger." Mark grinned at her, relief washing through him. A voice in the back of his mind had worried that Mimi would find all this too much, and leave. That would've finished Roger off. But she was here, she was staying. She was going to help.

"Thanks, Meems," he pulled her into a hug, too choked up with emotion to say more. Over her shoulder, he saw Collins beam at them, his eyes bright. They would be okay. They were ready to help Roger through this, whatever it took.

Okay, I know that these chapters are all dialogue-heavy, and the story is moving quite slow at the moment, but I promise things will speed up and get more exciting soon! But the next chapter's like this as well (sorry!), because it's when they talk to Roger anyhoo, thanks again, I'll be updating soon!


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